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you ready for all the advice you'll ever need? be a nice person.
YUUUUULETIIIIIIDE
this was only my second year of doing yuletide. despite lurking and reading the archives FOREVER, i knew next to nothing about yuletide culture when i jumped into it for the first time. this year i felt much more prepared with sign ups, wrote a letter, and told myself i'd write treats to pay it forward for how great my first year was.
and then life (and trying to get the hell out of this awful job, which is another story for another time, BUT i'm turning in my two weeks on friday! YOOOOOOO) happened, and time got away from me, and before i knew my elbow from my asshole, it was christmas day.
i still intend on doing some nyr treats throughout the year to pay it forward, especially because:
CHECK OUT ALL THE AMAZING GIFTS I GOT HOLY DAMN!!
TITLE: Courting
AUTHOR: pinstripesuit
FANDOM: Saga
CHARACTERS: Prince Robot IV, Princess Robot, Special Agent Gale
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 1,048
SUMMARY: Two balls, two conversations, plenty of alcohol.
FAVORITE BIT: “It’s an honor for the King to impress our Landfallian allies,” IV corrects. “And what’s more impressive than giving away one’s eldest son and one’s best wine collection?”
“If it’s any consolation, the soup at dinner is giving me heartburn,” Duchess replies, resting one hand on the railing next to IV’s.
“I’m probably next in line for the battlefield…” IV says apprehensively. “Along with father’s second-best wine collection.”
TITLE: to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield
AUTHOR: gdgdbaby
FANDOM: Saga
CHARACTERS: Prince Robot IV, Princess Robot, King Robot
RELATIONSHIPS: Prince Robot IV/Princess Robot
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 5,337
SUMMARY: IV has never been very good at timing. (five times iv left someone who loved him behind, and one time someone left him.)
FAVORITE BIT: IV comes home to a court in full mourning. Twelve years after the fact, he finally understands the snow on his father's face.
But to hell with King Robot. To hell with the Coalition, and to hell with Landfall. These days, the only person who shows up in IV's dreams is the son he has never met. Nothing like one trauma to replace another.
TITLE: That You May Contribute a Verse
AUTHOR: fresne
FANDOM: Dead Poets Society
CHARACTERS: Todd Anderson, OMC
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 1,288
FAVORITE BIT: Todd lay loose limbed on the mat on the Ashram floor. Pink petals spiraled through the heat thick air from the Frangipani tree outside his door as chimes gently blew on the dense breeze. In a sort of heat haze, he whispered, "It's a healing wind to a parched land, blow on me."
His lover, Paolo, though once his name had been Peter, said, "It's too hot to be sad," and kissed his ear.
But Todd clung to the sight of spinning petals and would not fall back into sleep. He whispered, "Seize the day, for time is flying."
TITLE: From That Eternal Silence
AUTHOR: lionessvalenti
FANDOM: Dead Poets Society
CHARACTERS: Charlie Dalton, Knox Overstreet, Neil Perry
RELATIONSHIPS: Charlie Dalton/Neil Perry, Charlie Dalton/Knox Overstreet
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 3,001
SUMMARY: Charlie reveals his secrets when he meets up with Knox after five years.
FAVORITE BIT: Knox choked out a laugh. "Yeah, maybe. But you'd love her, she's kind of a smart ass like you."
Charlie grinned. "So, you have a type."
"Har, har." Knox took another drink of his coffee. "Tell me about California."
"I studied business and I smoked a lot of weed because I was studying business."
i am still BLOWN AWAY by getting four lovely pieces and it made me kick myself even more for not having the time to treat like i wanted to. i feel so lucky to have had that many people write for me! if you are one of my authors and you're reading this, know that you made my yuletide super extra special :') thank you, thank you, thank you! i look forward to exacting my revenge now that i know who you all are.
in turn, i wrote this for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
withthepilot:
TITLE: trouble is my business, business is my middle name. (how much should i put you down for?)
FANDOM: Guardians of the Galaxy (and The Avengers, but just barely)
CHARACTERS: Rocket Raccoon, Peter Quill, Gamora, Groot, Drax the Destroyer, Phil Coulson, Clint Barton
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 3,853
SUMMARY: rocket, through the eyes of many.
FAVORITE BIT: As far as prison breaks go, this one is gonna get ugly.
They all do, of course, but this one will have more bloodshed than most. Rocket can just taste it. The nice thing about getting jailed on Astra is it’s a little shithole of a planet. Good for its resources, sure, but that’s about all it’s good for. Well, and he’s heard they’ve got a killer opera house, which he was planning on checking out after he finished his mission because yeah he likes the opera, screw anybody who might think he’s not cultured enough to appreciate art, but it looks like that idea’s been shot to all hell.
A FUNNY STORY ABOUT THAT. in talking withscreamlet about our assignments when they were sent out, it became clear that i was writing for one of her friends! and then i ended up being a total creep and reading a bunch of wtp's fic (my favorite being I Just Called to Say I Tolerate You, an avengers epic that i devoured) and backreading her tumblr and was like DAMN THIS GIRL IS AWESOME. which duh. screamlet has known me since i was a dorky 17 year old roleplaying harry potter, and i've always thought she's the coolest, so naturally all of her friends are also the coolest! anyway, i decided this girl and i would become friends through yuletide if it was the last thing i did.
ORIGINALLY I HAD MUCH MORE EPIC PLANS but again, life and time, the hellacious throes of my shitty job, etc. etc. regardless, i'm happy with what i wrote and SUPER stoked wtp enjoyed it!! :')
99% of what i write is for my friends only, so yuletide is the one time a year that i interact with fandom at large, and i'm always blown away by how sweet and supportive everyone is. ideally, i'd like to do more of that in 2015!
AND NOW, under the next cut are recs i saved (and already screamed about on twitter, so probably nothing new if you have me there) for your viewing pleasure!!!
TITLE: borne back ceaselessly
AUTHOR: gdgdbaby
FANDOM: Attack the Block
CHARACTERS: Moses, Pest, Biggz, Jerome, Dennis
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 3,859
SUMMARY: five indiscriminate pieces of the past. warnings for mild schoolyard violence, child neglect, and casual drug use, all compliant with canon.
FAVORITE BIT: In retrospect, it's useless. Simon's mum knows exactly who his friends are, and when she sees the graffiti up on the wall he gets a stern talking-to and no Xbox for the rest of the month. He's glum for about a day before Moses points out they've been immortalized on brick—sorry, Jerome, graffiti like that ain't coming off any time soon—and that his mum can't really do anything about it. Not even with a steam cleaner.
"She says she wishes I hung out with a better crowd," Simon admits, fiddling with the tassel on his jacket.
"There is no better crowd," Pest insists.
Simon looks up through his flopping fringe and grins. "That's what I told her."
TITLE: Leg Warmers: The Musical!
AUTHOR: kormantic
FANDOM: Bob's Burgers
CHARACTERS: Gene Belcher, Tina Belcher, Louise Belcher, Bob Belcher, Linda Belcher
RATING: General Audiences
WORDS: 1,378
SUMMARY: “Leg Warmers: The Musical! Featuring Olivia Newton-John's triumphant return to the stage! She’ll be the cornerstone of each production, the bedrock my legacy will be built upon!"
FAVORITE BIT: “I'll be casting director,” Tina said, eyeing the chorus boys milling around backstage speculatively.
“And I've got box office,” Louise announced. “These cultured theater chumps will pay through the nose for anything with a buzz. All we need is a few good reviews... And the best way to get those reviews is to--”
“...Bribe someone,” Louise finished with a cackle, already thumbing through her phone’s contacts.
“...Write them yourself,” said Tina, drawing a pencil from behind her ear and opening a fresh notebook.
“...cover it in sequins and make it SING!”
TITLE: forget each other's names and just walk away
AUTHOR: thinkatory
FANDOM: Breaking Bad
CHARACTERS: Skyler White, Jesse Pinkman, Walter White, Marie Schrader, Walter White Jr.
RELATIONSHIPS: Jesse Pinkman/Skyler White, past Skyler White/Walter White, past Jesse Pinkman/Jane Margolis, Marie Schrader & Skyler White
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 6,014
SUMMARY: Skyler White, widow of Walter White, Ex-Mrs. Heisenberg, That Poor Woman, whatever people wanted to call her, was genuinely tired of the calls, the solicitations, the offers for help. The help had come far too late, really. The damage was done.
FAVORITE BIT: “Uh, hey,” the man’s voice began, and she froze. “It’s me.” He didn’t elaborate. “I made it out. Not that you care. But I was there with him when it happened, I, uh, I don’t know. Fuck.” He exhaled heavily. “I’ll have this phone for the next day. Then. I won’t. I won’t bother you again. Bye, Mrs. White.”
TITLE: Latkes and Blunts (Or, Abbi and Ilana's Hotboxed Hanukkah)
AUTHOR: withthepilot
FANDOM: Broad City
CHARACTERS: Abbi Abrams, Ilana Wexler, Lincoln Rice, Matt Bevers, Jeremy Santos, Trey
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 4,111
SUMMARY: “Hanukkah? What are we going to do, sit around and drink Manischevitz and spin dreidels?” Ilana pauses as a light bulb goes off in her head. “Holy shit! We should totally do that!”
FAVORITE BIT: “Ilana, I don’t celebrate Kwanzaa.”
“What? No way!”
“My parents love Jesus. They loooove Jesus. I’m not even sure I know what Kwanzaa is.”
Ilana shrugs. “Let’s Google it.”
Five minutes later, they’re watching Lincoln’s laptop screen with rapt attention as Sandra Lee creates a giant monstrosity of a “traditional” Kwanzaa cake.
“I don’t trust this lady,” Lincoln says. He points at the screen accusingly. “She threw corn nuts on that cake and called them acorns. That’s just disingenuous.”
“Oh, my god,” Ilana says, her chin propped in her hands. “This is, like, the most erotic video of a woman in a turtleneck pouring pie filling into a hole that I’ve ever seen. I’ve gotta admit: I’m a little turned on.”
“Who am I kidding? That cake looks delicious,” Lincoln says mournfully.
TITLE: Little Spoon
AUTHOR: littledust
FANDOM: Brooklyn Nine-Nine
CHARACTERS: Rosa Diaz, Terry Jeffords, Scully, Michael Hitchcock, Ray Holt, Kevin Cozner, Gina Linetti, Amy Santiago, Jake Peralta
RELATIONSHIPS: Kevin Cozner/Ray Holt, Charles Boyle/Gina Linetti, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
RATING: General Audiences
WORDS: 2,183
SUMMARY: “Everyone likes to be the little spoon, it makes you feel safe!" Or: one time each person in the Nine-Nine was the little spoon.
FAVORITE BIT: Terry rambles on in that vein until he's not even sure what he's saying anymore. Every time one twin starts to settle down, the other one lets out a pitiful cry that used to shatter Terry's heart until he discovered that it precedes hours of angry squalling. His temples give a dull, sad throb, as though even his headache is too tired to do its job. Too tired, too fried, too scared, too anxious…
"Terry is projecting a little," he says aloud, but it's too late. Now he feels sorry for his headache. He should let it run its course the natural way instead of killing it with ibuprofen.
TITLE: around the world in 80 beds
AUTHOR: screamlet
FANDOM: Captain America RPF
CHARACTERS: Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Scarlett Johansson, Anthony Mackie, Tom Hiddleston
RELATIONSHIPS: Chris Evans/Sebastian Stan
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 3,988
SUMMARY: It started with Tom choosing his karaoke song.
Well, no, it started before that. It started in New York.
Actually, it started even before that.
FAVORITE BIT: “Leave this creamsicle alone,” Anthony said as he wrapped his arms around Tom and pulled his 30-foot-long legs into his lap. “Keep your lady logic away from his delicate sugar shell.”
“Oh, with pleasure,” Scarlett said.
“Seriously though,” Sebastian whispered to Chris. “First blowjob? Why can’t I remember?”
“I don’t know,” Chris whispered back. “Your mouth’s been on my dick, right? Just yesterday or always!” He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Sebastian’s. “Shit. Maybe we are in a vortex, our dicks always sucked, our mouths always sucking.”
TITLE: O, Answer Me
AUTHOR: jessalae
FANDOM: Hamlet
CHARACTERS: Hamlet, Horatio, Rosencrantz, Guildenstern
RATING: General Audiences
WORDS: 3,074
SUMMARY: Four letters Hamlet sent from Wittenberg, and one he received.
FAVORITE BIT: Horatio handed the letter back to Hamlet and glanced incredulously around his friend's lodgings. "'If I am to remain housed and fed'? I think you are in no danger of starvation, my lord, nor of being evicted."
"This is the usual form of these letters," Hamlet said, waving a hand dismissively and settling back onto his plump feather mattress. "Noble father, etcetera, hard at study, etcetera, dressed in rags and supping on moldy bread, etcetera, send a fat purse. I should not like to stray far from a recipe that has brought so many of my fellow students success."
TITLE: Secrets and Waffles
AUTHOR: treble
FANDOM: Happy Endings
CHARACTERS: Max Blum, Penny Hartz, Jane Kerkovich-Williams, Brad Williams, Dave Rose, Alex Kerkovich, Grant, Pete
RELATIONSHIPS: Max Blum/Grant, Penny Hartz/Pete
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 4,002
SUMMARY: Set in a near future after Pete and Penny have reconciled: someone has a secret. the group doesn't DO secrets. A classic gang hang as Max attempts to restore proper brunch etiquette. with a few dollops of romance on top.
FAVORITE BIT: “Anyway,” Jane interjected, rubbing Brad’s arm, “let’s continue to address how our over 30-year old friend finally purchased a basic toiletry item found in the shower stalls of even the dirtiest of American prisons. Nicely done, Max!”
“Thanks, sarcastic Jane!” Max drawled, “So! Now that we’ve cleared that up, we can return to my initial accusation.” He slammed both hands down on the table in time with his words, “SOMEONE. HAS. A. SECRET.”
TITLE: L.A. Women (Full of Protein, with a Hint of Sweetness)
AUTHOR: mrasaki
FANDOM: Hawkeye, Ms. Marvel
CHARACTERS: Kate Bishop, Kamala Khan, Lockjaw, Lucky
RATING: General Audiences
WORDS: 5,115
SUMMARY: Welcome to Kate Bishop Investigations. She came to Los Angeles to get away from the craziness and drama of New York – and family, both adopted and genetic – but this is her spectacularly unboring life.
In other words, just another Tuesday.
FAVORITE BIT: The girl seems to have vaporlocked, her mouth hanging open, eyes big and starry. “Hawkeye, civilian name Katherine Bishop,” she begins reciting breathlessly. “Agility, ten. Strength, four. Intelligence, eight. Sidekick of Clint Barton, also known as Hawkeye --”
“Whoa, hey,” Kate interrupts, unsure if she should be creeped out here. “Sidekick? No, no. Partner, maybe. Extremely unimpressed mentoree, usually. Babysitter, always. But sidekick, that's a negative, Lone Ranger. Banish that from your vocabulary. Also, the name's Kate.”
She doesn't think the girl heard a word; the girl draws herself up and does a full-body squee, arm flails and dancing on tiptoes and everything. “You're on my superhero fantasy league team!”
TITLE: Neon Lights
AUTHOR: thecarlysutra
FANDOM: Misfits
CHARACTERS: Alisha Bailey, Simon Bellamy, Nathan Young
RELATIONSHIPS: Alisha Bailey/Simon Bellamy
RATING: Mature
WORDS: 1,182
SUMMARY: Viva Las Vegas.
FAVORITE BIT: “Why did you want to come to Las Vegas?” he asks.
Alisha stops her bouncing, regards him. “I don't know. I mean, it's like all of America's only got a few cities in it, yeah? New York and LA and Chicago, maybe … Las Vegas just seemed like a jewel on the map. New York is dirty, LA is crowded; Las Vegas is where the royalty live. Like where the pharaohs and stuff lived in ancient Egypt.”
TITLE: In the quiet
AUTHOR: virginie
FANDOM: Orange is the New Black
CHARACTERS: Tasha "Taystee" Jefferson, Poussey Washington
RELATIONSHIPS: Tasha "Taystee" Jefferson/Poussey Washington
RATING: Mature
WORDS: 1,034
SUMMARY: Sometimes at night Poussey can't breathe.
FAVORITE BIT: You meet in a library. You're quiet and taking up a tiny amount of space and she bowls up and spills herself all over you. She's not looking where she's going, she's striding through the world, eating up the space around her, each kick of her strong legs moving the globe underneath. She's too beautiful for this small stunted space and you wonder what she's doing here.
TITLE: The Madonna
AUTHOR: VanillaMostly
FANDOM: Oryx and Crake
CHARACTERS: Snowman
RATING: General Audiences
WORDS: 1,518
SUMMARY: A woman who never stopped haunting Snowman. It isn't Oryx.
FAVORITE BIT: Sharon didn’t answer, secretly overcome with irrational resentment at Dolores and her understanding smiles, her kindness and genuine love. At how some women could fit motherhood so perfectly, and other women barely so. Was it a mis-wiring of neuronal pathways, an incompatibility of receptors? Maybe OrganInc Farms should look into developing that. A cure for defective mothers. Ha.
TITLE: Misadventures in Babysitting
AUTHOR: epicycles
FANDOM: Parks and Recreation
CHARACTERS: Andy Dwyer, April Ludgate, Leslie Knope, Ben Wyatt, The Triplets
RELATIONSHIPS: Andy Dwyer/April Ludgate, Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt
RATING: General Audiences
WORDS: 1,906
SUMMARY: "Great," April said as three infants in car seats were deposited on the couch. "Now we don't have to go to the grocery store."
FAVORITE BIT: She was busy with her own project: Operation Never Be Asked to Babysit Again.
Phase 1 was already in progress. It consisted of sending disturbing text message questions to Leslie and Ben at regular intervals.
"Does dirt count as solid food?"
"How many babies do you have again? It's 2, right? I'm pretty sure it's 2."
"One of them is talking. His first word is "REDRUM", isn't that cute!"
The only responses she was getting were strings of emojis from Leslie -- she wasn't sure whether 'whale ghost birthday cake birthday cake pirate ship cactus-wearing-a-sombrero' was the response she wanted or not. Ben was ignoring her, except to send her unrelated but horrifying texts like "Leslie has been telling everyone about what a strong and idea-driven government employee you are."
TITLE: C to the R to the A-I-G, Sure Gonna have to Be the One For Me--ow!
AUTHOR: edna_blackadder
FANDOM: Parks and Recreation
CHARACTERS: Craig Middlebrooks, Jean-Ralphio Saperstein, Ben Wyatt, Leslie Knope, JJ, Tom Haverford, Donna Meagle, Dr. Saperstein, Mona-Lisa Saperstein
RELATIONSHIPS: Craig Middlebrooks/Jean-Ralphio Saperstein, Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 3,159
SUMMARY: Craig and Jean-Ralphio begin a relationship. This does not bode well for their friends and acquaintances.
FAVORITE BIT: “Well then,” says Jean-Ralphio, his expression at its most perfectly lascivious, “I guess we're gonna have to do it o-ral-ly!” And Craig will never get used to the way he feels compelled to sing every stupid thing that passes through his head, but if that isn't a turn-on, then Scandal isn't the best thing to happen to TV since Sex and the City!
TITLE: family
AUTHOR: prosodiical
FANDOM: Pentatonix
CHARACTERS: Kevin Olusola, Avi Kaplan, Kirstie Maldonado, Scott Hoying, Mitch Grassi
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 1,116
SUMMARY: Or, four times Kevin thought of the group as family, and one time he admitted it.
FAVORITE BIT: "Hey," Scott says, "we all know you can hold a note as well as the rest of us - come on," he says entreatingly, "it'll be great. Five-part harmonies, or I can practice my beatboxing - "
"You, beatboxing?" Kevin says, tone dubious, and Scott laughs.
"Hey," he protests, "I might not be a pro like you, but I can totally beatbox - "
"Really badly," chimes in Mitch, peeking his head in the room, obviously looking for something as he wanders out again. "Stick with your voice, Stephanie."
"I am a completely acceptable beatboxer," Scott says, laughter in his voice. "Shut up."
TITLE: How the Cleric got her Spots
AUTHOR: kef
FANDOM: Rat Queens
CHARACTERS: Dee, Violet, Betty, Hannah
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 4,873
SUMMARY: The last bookstore she visited had a section titled 'Comparative Religion'. She didn’t look at its contents and she doesn’t have any plans to; but she can feel the words settle against her ribcage, soft and heavy, ready for when she needs to pull them out.
FAVORITE BIT: There’s a single clear moment when she and Betty are watching Vi work out—that is, Dee is watching her because Violet’s shirt is sticking to the small of her back and the muscles of her arms ripple interestingly when she swings her sword above her head, while Betty looks sideways at Dee and smirks—when she realises that she’ll never make it as a travel writer, not least because her still-blank journal might be crusted shut with goblin blood and Violet’s fair skin burns whenever they go anywhere which gets more than thirty minutes of sunshine a day.
She’ll never be a writer. She can barely fake it as a speaker-and-listener. But bodies make sense, in a way that other people don’t, and her fingertips crackle with unspent power.
TITLE: This Synthetic Soul
AUTHOR: yaseanne
FANDOM: True Detective
CHARACTERS: Rust Cohle, Marty Hart
RELATIONSHIPS: Rust Cohle/Marty Hart
RATING: Explicit
WORDS: 2,665
SUMMARY: There are moments that Marty forgets Rust is synthetic.
FAVORITE BIT: “Shit, keep going,” Marty groans, and Rust does. He takes him in his mouth without hesitation, swallowing him down, massaging the length with his tongue. Marty makes an undignified noise and puts his hands on the back of Rust’s head, then jerks them away. Rust draws away, grabs them and puts them back.
“I don’t have to breathe, Marty,” he says with a wry smile.
wow i'm so super glad that ends in me reccing goddamn robot porn WELL YOU ALL KNOW ME, I AM THE GLORIOUS MESS THAT I AM
happy 2015, babes. see you on the other side of space!
this was only my second year of doing yuletide. despite lurking and reading the archives FOREVER, i knew next to nothing about yuletide culture when i jumped into it for the first time. this year i felt much more prepared with sign ups, wrote a letter, and told myself i'd write treats to pay it forward for how great my first year was.
and then life (and trying to get the hell out of this awful job, which is another story for another time, BUT i'm turning in my two weeks on friday! YOOOOOOO) happened, and time got away from me, and before i knew my elbow from my asshole, it was christmas day.
i still intend on doing some nyr treats throughout the year to pay it forward, especially because:
CHECK OUT ALL THE AMAZING GIFTS I GOT HOLY DAMN!!
TITLE: Courting
AUTHOR: pinstripesuit
FANDOM: Saga
CHARACTERS: Prince Robot IV, Princess Robot, Special Agent Gale
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 1,048
SUMMARY: Two balls, two conversations, plenty of alcohol.
FAVORITE BIT: “It’s an honor for the King to impress our Landfallian allies,” IV corrects. “And what’s more impressive than giving away one’s eldest son and one’s best wine collection?”
“If it’s any consolation, the soup at dinner is giving me heartburn,” Duchess replies, resting one hand on the railing next to IV’s.
“I’m probably next in line for the battlefield…” IV says apprehensively. “Along with father’s second-best wine collection.”
TITLE: to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield
AUTHOR: gdgdbaby
FANDOM: Saga
CHARACTERS: Prince Robot IV, Princess Robot, King Robot
RELATIONSHIPS: Prince Robot IV/Princess Robot
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 5,337
SUMMARY: IV has never been very good at timing. (five times iv left someone who loved him behind, and one time someone left him.)
FAVORITE BIT: IV comes home to a court in full mourning. Twelve years after the fact, he finally understands the snow on his father's face.
But to hell with King Robot. To hell with the Coalition, and to hell with Landfall. These days, the only person who shows up in IV's dreams is the son he has never met. Nothing like one trauma to replace another.
TITLE: That You May Contribute a Verse
AUTHOR: fresne
FANDOM: Dead Poets Society
CHARACTERS: Todd Anderson, OMC
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 1,288
FAVORITE BIT: Todd lay loose limbed on the mat on the Ashram floor. Pink petals spiraled through the heat thick air from the Frangipani tree outside his door as chimes gently blew on the dense breeze. In a sort of heat haze, he whispered, "It's a healing wind to a parched land, blow on me."
His lover, Paolo, though once his name had been Peter, said, "It's too hot to be sad," and kissed his ear.
But Todd clung to the sight of spinning petals and would not fall back into sleep. He whispered, "Seize the day, for time is flying."
TITLE: From That Eternal Silence
AUTHOR: lionessvalenti
FANDOM: Dead Poets Society
CHARACTERS: Charlie Dalton, Knox Overstreet, Neil Perry
RELATIONSHIPS: Charlie Dalton/Neil Perry, Charlie Dalton/Knox Overstreet
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 3,001
SUMMARY: Charlie reveals his secrets when he meets up with Knox after five years.
FAVORITE BIT: Knox choked out a laugh. "Yeah, maybe. But you'd love her, she's kind of a smart ass like you."
Charlie grinned. "So, you have a type."
"Har, har." Knox took another drink of his coffee. "Tell me about California."
"I studied business and I smoked a lot of weed because I was studying business."
i am still BLOWN AWAY by getting four lovely pieces and it made me kick myself even more for not having the time to treat like i wanted to. i feel so lucky to have had that many people write for me! if you are one of my authors and you're reading this, know that you made my yuletide super extra special :') thank you, thank you, thank you! i look forward to exacting my revenge now that i know who you all are.
in turn, i wrote this for
withthepilot:TITLE: trouble is my business, business is my middle name. (how much should i put you down for?)
FANDOM: Guardians of the Galaxy (and The Avengers, but just barely)
CHARACTERS: Rocket Raccoon, Peter Quill, Gamora, Groot, Drax the Destroyer, Phil Coulson, Clint Barton
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 3,853
SUMMARY: rocket, through the eyes of many.
FAVORITE BIT: As far as prison breaks go, this one is gonna get ugly.
They all do, of course, but this one will have more bloodshed than most. Rocket can just taste it. The nice thing about getting jailed on Astra is it’s a little shithole of a planet. Good for its resources, sure, but that’s about all it’s good for. Well, and he’s heard they’ve got a killer opera house, which he was planning on checking out after he finished his mission because yeah he likes the opera, screw anybody who might think he’s not cultured enough to appreciate art, but it looks like that idea’s been shot to all hell.
A FUNNY STORY ABOUT THAT. in talking with
screamlet about our assignments when they were sent out, it became clear that i was writing for one of her friends! and then i ended up being a total creep and reading a bunch of wtp's fic (my favorite being I Just Called to Say I Tolerate You, an avengers epic that i devoured) and backreading her tumblr and was like DAMN THIS GIRL IS AWESOME. which duh. screamlet has known me since i was a dorky 17 year old roleplaying harry potter, and i've always thought she's the coolest, so naturally all of her friends are also the coolest! anyway, i decided this girl and i would become friends through yuletide if it was the last thing i did.ORIGINALLY I HAD MUCH MORE EPIC PLANS but again, life and time, the hellacious throes of my shitty job, etc. etc. regardless, i'm happy with what i wrote and SUPER stoked wtp enjoyed it!! :')
99% of what i write is for my friends only, so yuletide is the one time a year that i interact with fandom at large, and i'm always blown away by how sweet and supportive everyone is. ideally, i'd like to do more of that in 2015!
AND NOW, under the next cut are recs i saved (and already screamed about on twitter, so probably nothing new if you have me there) for your viewing pleasure!!!
TITLE: borne back ceaselessly
AUTHOR: gdgdbaby
FANDOM: Attack the Block
CHARACTERS: Moses, Pest, Biggz, Jerome, Dennis
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 3,859
SUMMARY: five indiscriminate pieces of the past. warnings for mild schoolyard violence, child neglect, and casual drug use, all compliant with canon.
FAVORITE BIT: In retrospect, it's useless. Simon's mum knows exactly who his friends are, and when she sees the graffiti up on the wall he gets a stern talking-to and no Xbox for the rest of the month. He's glum for about a day before Moses points out they've been immortalized on brick—sorry, Jerome, graffiti like that ain't coming off any time soon—and that his mum can't really do anything about it. Not even with a steam cleaner.
"She says she wishes I hung out with a better crowd," Simon admits, fiddling with the tassel on his jacket.
"There is no better crowd," Pest insists.
Simon looks up through his flopping fringe and grins. "That's what I told her."
TITLE: Leg Warmers: The Musical!
AUTHOR: kormantic
FANDOM: Bob's Burgers
CHARACTERS: Gene Belcher, Tina Belcher, Louise Belcher, Bob Belcher, Linda Belcher
RATING: General Audiences
WORDS: 1,378
SUMMARY: “Leg Warmers: The Musical! Featuring Olivia Newton-John's triumphant return to the stage! She’ll be the cornerstone of each production, the bedrock my legacy will be built upon!"
FAVORITE BIT: “I'll be casting director,” Tina said, eyeing the chorus boys milling around backstage speculatively.
“And I've got box office,” Louise announced. “These cultured theater chumps will pay through the nose for anything with a buzz. All we need is a few good reviews... And the best way to get those reviews is to--”
“...Bribe someone,” Louise finished with a cackle, already thumbing through her phone’s contacts.
“...Write them yourself,” said Tina, drawing a pencil from behind her ear and opening a fresh notebook.
“...cover it in sequins and make it SING!”
TITLE: forget each other's names and just walk away
AUTHOR: thinkatory
FANDOM: Breaking Bad
CHARACTERS: Skyler White, Jesse Pinkman, Walter White, Marie Schrader, Walter White Jr.
RELATIONSHIPS: Jesse Pinkman/Skyler White, past Skyler White/Walter White, past Jesse Pinkman/Jane Margolis, Marie Schrader & Skyler White
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 6,014
SUMMARY: Skyler White, widow of Walter White, Ex-Mrs. Heisenberg, That Poor Woman, whatever people wanted to call her, was genuinely tired of the calls, the solicitations, the offers for help. The help had come far too late, really. The damage was done.
FAVORITE BIT: “Uh, hey,” the man’s voice began, and she froze. “It’s me.” He didn’t elaborate. “I made it out. Not that you care. But I was there with him when it happened, I, uh, I don’t know. Fuck.” He exhaled heavily. “I’ll have this phone for the next day. Then. I won’t. I won’t bother you again. Bye, Mrs. White.”
TITLE: Latkes and Blunts (Or, Abbi and Ilana's Hotboxed Hanukkah)
AUTHOR: withthepilot
FANDOM: Broad City
CHARACTERS: Abbi Abrams, Ilana Wexler, Lincoln Rice, Matt Bevers, Jeremy Santos, Trey
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 4,111
SUMMARY: “Hanukkah? What are we going to do, sit around and drink Manischevitz and spin dreidels?” Ilana pauses as a light bulb goes off in her head. “Holy shit! We should totally do that!”
FAVORITE BIT: “Ilana, I don’t celebrate Kwanzaa.”
“What? No way!”
“My parents love Jesus. They loooove Jesus. I’m not even sure I know what Kwanzaa is.”
Ilana shrugs. “Let’s Google it.”
Five minutes later, they’re watching Lincoln’s laptop screen with rapt attention as Sandra Lee creates a giant monstrosity of a “traditional” Kwanzaa cake.
“I don’t trust this lady,” Lincoln says. He points at the screen accusingly. “She threw corn nuts on that cake and called them acorns. That’s just disingenuous.”
“Oh, my god,” Ilana says, her chin propped in her hands. “This is, like, the most erotic video of a woman in a turtleneck pouring pie filling into a hole that I’ve ever seen. I’ve gotta admit: I’m a little turned on.”
“Who am I kidding? That cake looks delicious,” Lincoln says mournfully.
TITLE: Little Spoon
AUTHOR: littledust
FANDOM: Brooklyn Nine-Nine
CHARACTERS: Rosa Diaz, Terry Jeffords, Scully, Michael Hitchcock, Ray Holt, Kevin Cozner, Gina Linetti, Amy Santiago, Jake Peralta
RELATIONSHIPS: Kevin Cozner/Ray Holt, Charles Boyle/Gina Linetti, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
RATING: General Audiences
WORDS: 2,183
SUMMARY: “Everyone likes to be the little spoon, it makes you feel safe!" Or: one time each person in the Nine-Nine was the little spoon.
FAVORITE BIT: Terry rambles on in that vein until he's not even sure what he's saying anymore. Every time one twin starts to settle down, the other one lets out a pitiful cry that used to shatter Terry's heart until he discovered that it precedes hours of angry squalling. His temples give a dull, sad throb, as though even his headache is too tired to do its job. Too tired, too fried, too scared, too anxious…
"Terry is projecting a little," he says aloud, but it's too late. Now he feels sorry for his headache. He should let it run its course the natural way instead of killing it with ibuprofen.
TITLE: around the world in 80 beds
AUTHOR: screamlet
FANDOM: Captain America RPF
CHARACTERS: Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Scarlett Johansson, Anthony Mackie, Tom Hiddleston
RELATIONSHIPS: Chris Evans/Sebastian Stan
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 3,988
SUMMARY: It started with Tom choosing his karaoke song.
Well, no, it started before that. It started in New York.
Actually, it started even before that.
FAVORITE BIT: “Leave this creamsicle alone,” Anthony said as he wrapped his arms around Tom and pulled his 30-foot-long legs into his lap. “Keep your lady logic away from his delicate sugar shell.”
“Oh, with pleasure,” Scarlett said.
“Seriously though,” Sebastian whispered to Chris. “First blowjob? Why can’t I remember?”
“I don’t know,” Chris whispered back. “Your mouth’s been on my dick, right? Just yesterday or always!” He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Sebastian’s. “Shit. Maybe we are in a vortex, our dicks always sucked, our mouths always sucking.”
TITLE: O, Answer Me
AUTHOR: jessalae
FANDOM: Hamlet
CHARACTERS: Hamlet, Horatio, Rosencrantz, Guildenstern
RATING: General Audiences
WORDS: 3,074
SUMMARY: Four letters Hamlet sent from Wittenberg, and one he received.
FAVORITE BIT: Horatio handed the letter back to Hamlet and glanced incredulously around his friend's lodgings. "'If I am to remain housed and fed'? I think you are in no danger of starvation, my lord, nor of being evicted."
"This is the usual form of these letters," Hamlet said, waving a hand dismissively and settling back onto his plump feather mattress. "Noble father, etcetera, hard at study, etcetera, dressed in rags and supping on moldy bread, etcetera, send a fat purse. I should not like to stray far from a recipe that has brought so many of my fellow students success."
TITLE: Secrets and Waffles
AUTHOR: treble
FANDOM: Happy Endings
CHARACTERS: Max Blum, Penny Hartz, Jane Kerkovich-Williams, Brad Williams, Dave Rose, Alex Kerkovich, Grant, Pete
RELATIONSHIPS: Max Blum/Grant, Penny Hartz/Pete
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 4,002
SUMMARY: Set in a near future after Pete and Penny have reconciled: someone has a secret. the group doesn't DO secrets. A classic gang hang as Max attempts to restore proper brunch etiquette. with a few dollops of romance on top.
FAVORITE BIT: “Anyway,” Jane interjected, rubbing Brad’s arm, “let’s continue to address how our over 30-year old friend finally purchased a basic toiletry item found in the shower stalls of even the dirtiest of American prisons. Nicely done, Max!”
“Thanks, sarcastic Jane!” Max drawled, “So! Now that we’ve cleared that up, we can return to my initial accusation.” He slammed both hands down on the table in time with his words, “SOMEONE. HAS. A. SECRET.”
TITLE: L.A. Women (Full of Protein, with a Hint of Sweetness)
AUTHOR: mrasaki
FANDOM: Hawkeye, Ms. Marvel
CHARACTERS: Kate Bishop, Kamala Khan, Lockjaw, Lucky
RATING: General Audiences
WORDS: 5,115
SUMMARY: Welcome to Kate Bishop Investigations. She came to Los Angeles to get away from the craziness and drama of New York – and family, both adopted and genetic – but this is her spectacularly unboring life.
In other words, just another Tuesday.
FAVORITE BIT: The girl seems to have vaporlocked, her mouth hanging open, eyes big and starry. “Hawkeye, civilian name Katherine Bishop,” she begins reciting breathlessly. “Agility, ten. Strength, four. Intelligence, eight. Sidekick of Clint Barton, also known as Hawkeye --”
“Whoa, hey,” Kate interrupts, unsure if she should be creeped out here. “Sidekick? No, no. Partner, maybe. Extremely unimpressed mentoree, usually. Babysitter, always. But sidekick, that's a negative, Lone Ranger. Banish that from your vocabulary. Also, the name's Kate.”
She doesn't think the girl heard a word; the girl draws herself up and does a full-body squee, arm flails and dancing on tiptoes and everything. “You're on my superhero fantasy league team!”
TITLE: Neon Lights
AUTHOR: thecarlysutra
FANDOM: Misfits
CHARACTERS: Alisha Bailey, Simon Bellamy, Nathan Young
RELATIONSHIPS: Alisha Bailey/Simon Bellamy
RATING: Mature
WORDS: 1,182
SUMMARY: Viva Las Vegas.
FAVORITE BIT: “Why did you want to come to Las Vegas?” he asks.
Alisha stops her bouncing, regards him. “I don't know. I mean, it's like all of America's only got a few cities in it, yeah? New York and LA and Chicago, maybe … Las Vegas just seemed like a jewel on the map. New York is dirty, LA is crowded; Las Vegas is where the royalty live. Like where the pharaohs and stuff lived in ancient Egypt.”
TITLE: In the quiet
AUTHOR: virginie
FANDOM: Orange is the New Black
CHARACTERS: Tasha "Taystee" Jefferson, Poussey Washington
RELATIONSHIPS: Tasha "Taystee" Jefferson/Poussey Washington
RATING: Mature
WORDS: 1,034
SUMMARY: Sometimes at night Poussey can't breathe.
FAVORITE BIT: You meet in a library. You're quiet and taking up a tiny amount of space and she bowls up and spills herself all over you. She's not looking where she's going, she's striding through the world, eating up the space around her, each kick of her strong legs moving the globe underneath. She's too beautiful for this small stunted space and you wonder what she's doing here.
TITLE: The Madonna
AUTHOR: VanillaMostly
FANDOM: Oryx and Crake
CHARACTERS: Snowman
RATING: General Audiences
WORDS: 1,518
SUMMARY: A woman who never stopped haunting Snowman. It isn't Oryx.
FAVORITE BIT: Sharon didn’t answer, secretly overcome with irrational resentment at Dolores and her understanding smiles, her kindness and genuine love. At how some women could fit motherhood so perfectly, and other women barely so. Was it a mis-wiring of neuronal pathways, an incompatibility of receptors? Maybe OrganInc Farms should look into developing that. A cure for defective mothers. Ha.
TITLE: Misadventures in Babysitting
AUTHOR: epicycles
FANDOM: Parks and Recreation
CHARACTERS: Andy Dwyer, April Ludgate, Leslie Knope, Ben Wyatt, The Triplets
RELATIONSHIPS: Andy Dwyer/April Ludgate, Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt
RATING: General Audiences
WORDS: 1,906
SUMMARY: "Great," April said as three infants in car seats were deposited on the couch. "Now we don't have to go to the grocery store."
FAVORITE BIT: She was busy with her own project: Operation Never Be Asked to Babysit Again.
Phase 1 was already in progress. It consisted of sending disturbing text message questions to Leslie and Ben at regular intervals.
"Does dirt count as solid food?"
"How many babies do you have again? It's 2, right? I'm pretty sure it's 2."
"One of them is talking. His first word is "REDRUM", isn't that cute!"
The only responses she was getting were strings of emojis from Leslie -- she wasn't sure whether 'whale ghost birthday cake birthday cake pirate ship cactus-wearing-a-sombrero' was the response she wanted or not. Ben was ignoring her, except to send her unrelated but horrifying texts like "Leslie has been telling everyone about what a strong and idea-driven government employee you are."
TITLE: C to the R to the A-I-G, Sure Gonna have to Be the One For Me--ow!
AUTHOR: edna_blackadder
FANDOM: Parks and Recreation
CHARACTERS: Craig Middlebrooks, Jean-Ralphio Saperstein, Ben Wyatt, Leslie Knope, JJ, Tom Haverford, Donna Meagle, Dr. Saperstein, Mona-Lisa Saperstein
RELATIONSHIPS: Craig Middlebrooks/Jean-Ralphio Saperstein, Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 3,159
SUMMARY: Craig and Jean-Ralphio begin a relationship. This does not bode well for their friends and acquaintances.
FAVORITE BIT: “Well then,” says Jean-Ralphio, his expression at its most perfectly lascivious, “I guess we're gonna have to do it o-ral-ly!” And Craig will never get used to the way he feels compelled to sing every stupid thing that passes through his head, but if that isn't a turn-on, then Scandal isn't the best thing to happen to TV since Sex and the City!
TITLE: family
AUTHOR: prosodiical
FANDOM: Pentatonix
CHARACTERS: Kevin Olusola, Avi Kaplan, Kirstie Maldonado, Scott Hoying, Mitch Grassi
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 1,116
SUMMARY: Or, four times Kevin thought of the group as family, and one time he admitted it.
FAVORITE BIT: "Hey," Scott says, "we all know you can hold a note as well as the rest of us - come on," he says entreatingly, "it'll be great. Five-part harmonies, or I can practice my beatboxing - "
"You, beatboxing?" Kevin says, tone dubious, and Scott laughs.
"Hey," he protests, "I might not be a pro like you, but I can totally beatbox - "
"Really badly," chimes in Mitch, peeking his head in the room, obviously looking for something as he wanders out again. "Stick with your voice, Stephanie."
"I am a completely acceptable beatboxer," Scott says, laughter in his voice. "Shut up."
TITLE: How the Cleric got her Spots
AUTHOR: kef
FANDOM: Rat Queens
CHARACTERS: Dee, Violet, Betty, Hannah
RATING: Teen & Up
WORDS: 4,873
SUMMARY: The last bookstore she visited had a section titled 'Comparative Religion'. She didn’t look at its contents and she doesn’t have any plans to; but she can feel the words settle against her ribcage, soft and heavy, ready for when she needs to pull them out.
FAVORITE BIT: There’s a single clear moment when she and Betty are watching Vi work out—that is, Dee is watching her because Violet’s shirt is sticking to the small of her back and the muscles of her arms ripple interestingly when she swings her sword above her head, while Betty looks sideways at Dee and smirks—when she realises that she’ll never make it as a travel writer, not least because her still-blank journal might be crusted shut with goblin blood and Violet’s fair skin burns whenever they go anywhere which gets more than thirty minutes of sunshine a day.
She’ll never be a writer. She can barely fake it as a speaker-and-listener. But bodies make sense, in a way that other people don’t, and her fingertips crackle with unspent power.
TITLE: This Synthetic Soul
AUTHOR: yaseanne
FANDOM: True Detective
CHARACTERS: Rust Cohle, Marty Hart
RELATIONSHIPS: Rust Cohle/Marty Hart
RATING: Explicit
WORDS: 2,665
SUMMARY: There are moments that Marty forgets Rust is synthetic.
FAVORITE BIT: “Shit, keep going,” Marty groans, and Rust does. He takes him in his mouth without hesitation, swallowing him down, massaging the length with his tongue. Marty makes an undignified noise and puts his hands on the back of Rust’s head, then jerks them away. Rust draws away, grabs them and puts them back.
“I don’t have to breathe, Marty,” he says with a wry smile.
wow i'm so super glad that ends in me reccing goddamn robot porn WELL YOU ALL KNOW ME, I AM THE GLORIOUS MESS THAT I AM
happy 2015, babes. see you on the other side of space!
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"AND THEN CHRIS EVANS TRIED NOT TO CRY AS HE FLEXED HIS MAD PECS BECAUSE FULFILLING ANTHONY MACKIE'S MAGIC MIKE FANTASY ON A STAGE HE BUILT HIMSELF IN HIS GARAGE OUT OF BALSA WOOD AND REGRET WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN HIS DEEP DISCOMFORT WITH BEING MENTALLY COMPARED TO MCCONAUGHEY, HIS CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND PROBABLY"
i'm requesting this in 2015 and i'm tailoring all my other requests to make sure you're matched with me. GET READY.
your story was SO HILARIOUS, which is the least surprising part when YOU have been so hilarious ALL THESE YEARS.
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godddddddddddddddddddddd dammit
well time to work those TRULY STELLAR raw materials into my magnum opus
yuletide 2015: magic mackie